Conversation With Linda Dude

05 March 2011

The annoying political discourse in America isn’t much better since the general election. When I get really tangled up in my thinking, I’ll call my friend “Linda Dude” in Toronto, Canada, to find out what she’s got to say.

Linda Dude isn’t her real name. It’s just thPatrick Butler: UNDER THE WATERFALLat she says, “dude” so often, and “decent” and “what a trip” that I just call her Linda Dude. She has this uncanny ability to penetrate the fog of reality to see the universe in a way quite unlike my own. I like her outlook, so I whipped out cell phone and hit the speed dial.

“Patrick, dude, what a trip!” Linda answered right away. “Decent! How’s the family. How’s life. Why are you calling me? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, hey, nothing’s wrong. I’m cool,” I said trying to sound like I could see clearly now and it was bright, bright sunshiny day.   But all I heard back was extended silence. I began to panic.

“Honest,” I added, lamely.  “I’m fine.”

“Patrick, dude,” said Linda laughing. “You are the worst liar, ever.

“Well, look,” I said quickly. “I actually called to ask what I should do about things going on in the States, so I didn’t think I had to…”

“Be real?” Linda Dude asked.

“I sighed. I’ve been a passenger on her train of thought before. There’s no getting off it easily.

“C’mon, what’s bothering you?” she asked. “Really.”

“I guess it’s what I’m learning these days,” I said. “It’s crazy, and I’m aggravated at all the manipulation, anger and accusations I see. It’s gotten so I don’t want to take people seriously anymore.”

“So, you’re angry, eh? She asked. 

“No, my problem is having to put up with all this aggravation,” I said defensively.

“And that makes you angry?” she asked.

When Linda Dude asks something twice, I take another look at my reactions. After arguing with myself, I said,

“OK, right. These people make me angry. Anyway, I’m thinking the vituperative fault-finding won’t stop until the next Election Day is over. I can’t wait that long.”

“You want to give your personal peace a chance, now. Is that right?” Linda Dude asked gently.

“That’s it!” I said emphatically. “There’s no personal peace. It drives me crazy sometimes.”

“Dude, “they’ didn’t make you angry. You made you angry. What a trip. This is such a gift.”

“A gift?” I asked disbelieving. “How is being aggravated by a yahoo selling me something about how the world works that I know is not true, a gift?”

“How would you know what to overcome if you didn’t have something to react to?” she said. “This is showing you how you really are.”

I started to squirm, because Linda Dude was going somewhere and I knew it meant change, which in theory is generally acceptable, as long as it’s not too demanding. In theory.

“I’m listening,” I said cautiously.

“OK,” she said. “Listening is good. But what are you learning?”

I paused to consider, rubbing my eyes with my fingers. I felt a headache coming on.

“OK, you mean I should learn from this, and not just blame others?”

“Yep.” she said simply.

“But how can I learn from this?  Do you even know what’s being said?”

“Haven’t a clue,” she said, “but we’re supposed to learn from everything. You know that. The question is, ‘why aren’t you doing it?’”

I quickly reviewed to see what I could learn from my reactions; people who don’t see what I see make remarks I feel are ignorant and borderline arrogant. Then I get annoyed because of their self-assuredness in matters they haven’t thought through. It makes me feel we’ll never progress until they get it, which I doubt they ever will. So I get frustrated.  

Frustration and finally anger, puts me in the fog of no peace, a lessened ability to love those who disagree with me, and finally I start to withdraw or worse, retaliate. Both options suddenly looked very bad. God didn’t grant me any peace or wisdom to keep it to myself. But how was I disseminating what I’d already learned?  I saw in an instant that I’d become the very thing I had wanted to avoid.

“Whoa,” was all I could say as my mouth fell open. I was glad Linda couldn’t see me.  It turned out she didn’t have to.

“Having a bit of a revelation, are we?” asked Linda Dude, from Toronto, Canada.

“Yeah. Basically the only difference between them and me,” I said slowly to Linda Dude, “was they are saying it, and I was just thinking it. I was just as critical, self-assured and borderline arrogant as the next guy or gal, just in a different way. I didn’t want to admit that, and worse, I didn’t want to love them. I didn’t want to learn anything from them.” 

“What a trip, eh?” said Linda Dude.

I wondered how in the world I could justify being impatient with anyone, after God’s patience with me?

“Um…” I said intelligently, and couldn’t say anymore. It was time to change, and well, what could I say? 

“Is everything clear now?”  asked Linda Dude.

“Yeah,” I said slowly. I could see clearly now, the fog was gone. I could see all emotional obstacles in the way. It was a bright, bright, sunshiny day.

“Decent,” she said.

“How do you do that?” I asked her.

“Do what?” she asked innocently.  “Say hi to the family, dude,” and hung up.