PATRICK BUTLER: Cordiality Is Killing Us

God wants intimacy, not cordiality.

     When it comes to religion, there is a lot of cordiality going on – bowing, kneeling, sitting politely and quietly with hands folded.  There can be an emphasis on small displays of “respect” – such as showing up on time for a meeting which is equated with understanding the worthiness of God.

  Being on time is fine. The only problem is that anyone can show up on time for years and still not understand the worthiness of God.  Timeliness is not necessarily Godliness.

   We do acknowledge that God is worthy.  We bow our wills to him, perhaps many times, every day. We like to say sometimes, “we will obey first, then understand later – maybe,” as our willingness to understand that “obedience is better than sacrifice,” (I Sam. 15:22). We are confident that our relationship with God is on firm ground because we are learning to trust him in all difficult or confusing circumstances. This is a good thing.

   But cordiality is killing us, the church, when it comes to being known by God. It is also affecting relationships between churches, missions groups and “moves of God” represented by small groups of believers who have taken on tasks “for the kingdom.” 

     There is cordiality between many of these groups but not intimacy due to hurts and wounds, causing distrust - or worse, apathy - towards each other. But a lack of intimacy with God is a mirror of all our other relationships showing up in everything we do.

   What God wants, therefore, is our hearts not our politeness. Intimacy with God is what will keep us – and our works for him – on track.

    He wants to look into our eyes and gaze into what he’s created. His word is, “Do you see any disappointment in my eyes?  Do you see any condemnation? Any rejection?  Let me hear your voice, for sweet is your voice.”

  Real intimacy with God is so precious that once established, people will do most anything to sustain it. They will take precautions not to kill it. And if they lose intimacy, the loss is so painful that once regained there is, hopefully, renewed determination not to lose it again. Ask any divorced and remarried person if they are more determined to “make it work” this time around. It is the same with intimacy with God.

   We are not called the “Bride of Christ” for nothing. We are HIS first love, imagine that. There is a reason God is a “jealous” God. When we don’t respond to God as his first love, the intimacy he desires to give us is lost, a tragedy.

    It is such an awful occurrence when love is lost that God can’t help but want to protect his bride from being embittered by senseless wanderings to “other gods” - others sources of “strength” - which God knows are deceptive and will ultimately hurt his first love.  

     There is nothing more precious on this earth than intimacy. It’s better than silver or gold. Ask any happily married wife if she would trade her husband’s intimacy for a million dollars. Most would surely say, “No.”

     Yet we trade intimacy with God for all kinds of things; fame, business, power, opportunity, adventure, or self-aggrandizement.  All the while, God waits for his first love to look in his eyes and see the gift he has been ready to give us all along – himself.

  In a husband-wife relationship, the husband gives himself to his wife without reservation.  He transfers his power to her with his strength and tenderness.  She receives it gladly, embracing her one true love with her being. The two become one.  Paul writes, “This is a great mystery, but I speak of Christ and the church.” (Eph. 5:22) . God’s love is like that. It is new every morning because great is his faithfulness. (Lam. 3:23)

   The “how” of these workings is a great mystery, as Paul wrote. However, the “what” in this story is not a mystery.  It’s a fact that many of us have traded intimacy with God for something else.  Why we made that trade is really irrelevant to understanding the enormity of the loss of Godly intimacy. It is truly a tragedy of biblical proportions. In fact, that’s the ongoing biblical tragedy that’s been happening for thousands of years; lost intimacy with God.

    Take another look into God’s eyes. This may be hard to do at first because it is not generally taught how to do it. That’s because many teachers have not looked into God’s eyes themselves lately to see his intimacy, or else they would teach it.

    If anything you are “doing for God” is not leading you into greater intimacy with him, please stop what you’re doing. Get a cup of coffee, pen and paper and sit down with God on your porch or garden swing and have a chat with him. Ask him what the hold up is since his eyes run to and fro throughout the earth, seeking to strengthen a heart turned towards him (2 Chron. 16:9)

   Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.